the winter of life

The winter of life. That is what my mother is calling this time in her life. She is 84, my dad is 90. I tried to talk the season back. "No, it's your autumn. It is October." She says it is November. That sounds too much like the end to me. December just around the corner and then what? The great beyond, death. It is just so final. I enjoy talking to my mom. To know I cannot just chat with her even, like I do now. It's unfathomable.

My friend Gia's mother is in the process of shutting down and dying. It happened quickly with her. Gia left work in tears. Her mother cannot get up anymore, can barely speak. It is devastating to behold. I will be a mess when it happens to me. I have no idea how I will even operate at work. I had better get off this topic or I will be unable to sleep tonight.